Sheri & Death

Dream: From what I can remember I was having an argument with “Death” from American Horror Story: Asylum. I don’t remember much but I was shouting “You can’t have her! She’s not ready!” long story short, I won the shouting match and death left both me and the woman in the hospital bed alone to ourselves. Looking back now, I realize the woman in the bed was my sister Sheri, but in the dream all I saw was a woman lying on her side facing away from me with long brown hair who was short in height and a little heavy-set.

Reflections: I know why these components came together in my mind and although the meaning behind it is obvious, it does not make sense to me because I do not fear death for myself or for others. I know it is only a passing from one state to the next. There is no end to life. Anyways, long story short; I was recently christmas shopping for a blu ray version of  AHS: Asylum for my brother and it turned into a whole ordeal with me buying only the DVD version by mistake, having to return it and seeing if I can find the blu ray version elsewhere. Later that night I watched an episode of Tosh.0 and he was interviewing a woman that as a result of Colitis now has a stoma and ostomy bag. She was on the show because she creates youtube videos to show people how to care for it and how to live a semi-normal life with it. Unfortunately, that is what my sister has now only hers is due to Crohn’s Disease. I think it stuck in my mind because you never see my sister’s bag and you never see her stoma. On Tosh however, the girl showed both her bag and stoma so I was exposed to it for the first time and it hit me that this is what Sheri has been dealing with. When she mentioned that she had gotten infections around her stoma, it made me come to terms with her fragile mortality. Luckily the shock of it all was quickly subdued when Tosh did a sketch with the woman and her stoma based on the children’s classic “Magic School Bus”. Although it was out of my immediate attention it must have lingered there a while because that fear of losing my sister manifested itself in a dream.

Now, I know that death is inevitable for all living things but death is not what we have been told that it is. To quote Tangina from Poltergeist; I wholly believe with my heart and soul that when my intuition tells me There is no death, it is only a transition. then NOT believing it as truth just DOES NOT feel right. Like I am not being honest with myself. That being said I did not wake up in a sweat like nightmares usually do to me but I propped myself up and immediately I was thinking to myself. “Why would that scare me?” It doesn’t make sense because I recognize death as one of the many stages of life and although I do not wish it any upon myself or anyone else sooner than when we are ready, I welcome the experience. The only explanation I can think of is that because of her diseased state death could come for her much sooner than when she is ready for it. That I do fear. I fear the idea that my sister will not get the opportunity to live life as long as she wants to. If you know anything about my sister though, that is not likely to happen.

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